Thursday, January 21, 2010
Some days you wake up with the feeling trouble is lurking at your door. Sorrow waits in the shadows, ready to ruin your day. Memories of past failures roll through your mind like an old news reel. Most of the time you can push it down and run away. Sometimes, though, the darkness swallows you up before you can take a breath. I think this might be one of those days.
If I were an old blues singer this would be the perfect opportunity. But, I'm just an old woman. If I were a drunk, I would have the perfect excuse, but you can be too sad for alcohol to have any affect.
I know this won't last forever, I'll be OK again soon.
I remember the first Christmas after we lost Lauren. I thought, if we can just get through this, not realizing how long, cold and empty January and February would be. But every month or season has something to remind me of who Ive lost. I guess this is just my life now.
Does that make me crazy?
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