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Saturday, May 14, 2011

You Ought To Be In Pictures

 I have a birthday next month.  Not only will I be blah blah years old, this is a drivers license renewal year, which of course means the dreaded drivers license picture. With the rising cost of everything in the world, I would still be willing to pay more for my license if they would just hire a professional photographer. One who could airbrush out my wrinkles and double chin. Maybe they could hire some of those photographers who used to do Glamour Shots. I never had a Glamour Shot, but I always wanted one. They could provide hats and scarves, and one of those rhinestone studded jean jackets. I would turn the collar up, or hook my thumbs in the lapel while giving that "I'm above all this" smile to the camera. Maybe I'll just bring a boa and tiara to wear. And maybe when filling out forms that ask Mr., Mrs. or Ms, I'll just pencil in Princess.
 My drivers license picture is so bad sales girls question if it's really me. I think maybe I need two pictures. One for when I get pulled over. This one would show my Innocent, "what did I do ?" look, or as I like to call it , my Richard Nixon. Whhhaaat, me? The other should be my shocked, is the room spinning look, when paying out at Walmart.
This is the only time anyone ever ask for my license. No one ever questions if  I'm old enough to drink or buy glue, so I suppose I'm making too much of it. But it would be fun when anyone ask to see pictures of my kids, to slip in my TX DPS issued boa, tiara photo, and say, "oh that old thing?".

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A wife, mother, and spoiler of small dogs, I grew up in a small West Texas town, with my eyes full of sand, and my heart full of joy.


white punks