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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Sleeping With Darth Vader

  My husband uses a CPac machine when he sleeps. It's a thing he wears on his face that resembles a gas mask, and keeps him from snoring or dying in his sleep. It was kind of creepy at first, but I got used to it and the low, humming, Darth Vader sound now just lulls me to sleep.
  He used to snore like a freight train, which kept me awake at night and generally just drove me nuts. When he was diagnosed with sleep apnea and I was told how serious it could be, I felt a little guilty. I always knew he was in danger of dying in his sleep, because of the huge temptation to smother him with my pillow. I know that's horrible, but sleep deprivation can drive good people to do bad things. Anyway, things are much more peaceful around here now.
  It's funny how a little noise can send you up a wall or calm you like a baby. For instance, we all love to nap to the sound of rain falling on the roof, while a dripping shower is pure torture.
 Jon has a thing about squeaks.
  Sometimes we will be in the car driving along so peacefully, when he suddenly starts opening and shutting compartments and wedging folded paper in cracks, all the while swerving into oncoming traffic. When I ask what in the world is wrong, he says he hears a squeak. I say turn up the radio.
  He worked for AT&T for 32 years, listening to different tones and noise and I guess some things just stay with you.
  I was cleaning the other day and noticed two screws on the floor. I looked up and saw the plastic casing around the elliptical machine was coming off and someone had jammed a screw driver under one of the legs. I said, "Jon, is that exercise machine coming apart?" He looked embarrassed and said, "It was squeaking."

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