Years ago, when I was around thirteen or so, I developed a terrible addiction. It plagued my life through high school and followed me into adulthood. I tried to quit over and over only to start again once the weather turned cold and windy. Over the last few years, Ive found substitutes and the occasional healing. Now this awful habit has reared its ugly head once again. Yes, that's right. I'm back on Carmex and I can't stop. It's even more convenient now. After all these years it's packaged in a tube like normal chap stick. But we know it's not normal. That cooling gel wakes me in the middle of the night saying, "You need more", and I can't resist.
I do miss the old packaging, however. I can remember the feeling of digging in my purse or pockets for lipstick and suddenly finding that little round jar. The glass itself was cool to the touch, promising relief for those sore chapped lips.
It may pale in comparison to other dependencies Ive suffered in my life, but I believe it is more dangerous, simply because of it's availability. How long before I find myself, red eyed and sleepless, standing at the convenience store counter, digging for change to score one more tube?
Just one more, and I promise I'll quit.
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