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Monday, May 7, 2012

I'm No Annie Oakley

  The other day, I was talking to Jon about the state this world is in. Rampant crime, lack of respect for life and authority and I, jokingly, said he needed to teach me to shoot. To my surprise, he took me seriously and bought me a gun, a Glock to be specific.
 Now, you should know, I am terribly afraid of guns. When I was a little girl, my sister lived in Washington DC, and on one of her trips home, she drove a blue 65 Mustang equipped with a pistol in the glove box, for protection. I have a very distinct memory of sitting in that car, playing with her gun, and it gives me chills. I have known so many people killed by guns, some intentionally, and that is the extent of my experience with fire arms. I never allowed Jon to have a gun until our kids had all left for college because, Lauren was a sleep walker, but also I didn't want him to "accidentally" kill me. None of that matters, as he seems to now, be stockpiling weapons like a Fox News junkie. Understand, I believe we, as Americans, have the right to bare arms, however they scare the crap out of me.
 When he showed me my new gun I was a wreck. "Please don't load that in the house. What are you pointing that at? Just put it up and let me get used to it."
  Yesterday, he asked if I wanted to ice down some beers in the pickup and drive out to the country and take target practice. I said yes, but, what I meant was yes to icing down the beers and going to the country. Well, he showed me how to load the gun, hold it, and fire it. He put a little paper target on a fence post. He had the paper target because he and his friends are crazy people who practice before they hunt and shoot cute little prairie dogs.
 I held the gun the way he showed me, lined up the target and pulled the trigger. It was loud and jerked upward in my hand. I said that scarred the ----- out of me and I was not going to do it again. He said I should try it one more time and I did, then told him I was through. I'm no cowgirl. I don't need to know how to shoot. I could never shoot a human being and I certainly wouldn't hurt an animal. I'm a woman, and we nurture. That's our thing.
 So, if I ever have an intruder, a mugger, or anyone meaning me harm, I will have to do what my mother taught me. I will nag him until his ears bleed.
 

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A wife, mother, and spoiler of small dogs, I grew up in a small West Texas town, with my eyes full of sand, and my heart full of joy.


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