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Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Bi-Polar Express







Recently my son told me his girlfriend reads this blog. She said she liked it but worried a little about me. She said sometimes I'm funny and other times I'm really sad. I said, "Yeah, I'm like that", and Eric said "Yeah, that's what I told her". My kids used to joke that all my best stories ended with, "and he died." Looking through my high school yearbook was like, "he's dead, she's dead, after high school she followed The Dead." All of this, sadly, is true.






I don't know why I'm this way, but I don't think I'm the only one, am I? The old cliche about life being a roller coaster is true. Most people start their lives just so happy to be the center of the universe, Mom and Dad's little joy. Then comes the cold stark reality of being replaced by a baby sister or brother or, in my case, a new puppy or color TV. But we adjust and learn to love the TV or baby as much as the rest of the family. And life is good, until we start to school. Here we meet another group of adults and kids who think they can boss us around. Eventually we are subdued until.......ADOLESCENCE! That's when all Hell breaks loose.






God gave us teenagers so we could understand what it's like to create someone in your own image only to have them deny your existence. I am not talking about my own children, they were so much better than I deserved. I am talking about the holy terror that was me. My parents should have killed me. Looking back, I try to remember conversations with my parents and all I can see is the shock and disbelief on their faces. But, as the villager in The Holy Grail says after accusing the witch of turning him into a newt, " I got better" (that was for my brother, Greg)





Though I am still a little crazy and off kilter with the mood swings, I usually can snap out of a funk pretty easily. I read recently, you don't drown from falling in the water but from staying there. And, you know, a little depression can be kind of fun if you have the right blues CD. Seriously, music always helps.






I have said before I would like to have my own satellite radio show, like Willy's Place, or Tom Petty's Vault. I think I could highlight my nasty mood swings and play great music at the same time. It would be called, appropriately, The Bi-Polar Express. I could go from Stevie Ray Vaughn to Roseanne Cash and back up to The Delfonics and you would think," what just happened? I don't know but I think I like it."






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A wife, mother, and spoiler of small dogs, I grew up in a small West Texas town, with my eyes full of sand, and my heart full of joy.


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