Dead Boyfriends

My girls used to tell me all my stories end with, "and he died". Sometimes it seems to be true. Well, here's another one.
Looking back I probably had more boyfriends than what is considered normal. I don't know why. Maybe it's my nature to fall in and out of love with people as quickly as I do a new pair of shoes or really cool earrings. I'm not saying this is something to be proud of, by any means. A life like that tends to be littered with broken hearts and too many trips to Goodwill. Anyway for a time it seemed like those old boyfriends were dropping like flies. I can think of five who were gone before they turned 30. It's hard to know how to feel. If we were still friends, I grieved like anyone else. If not, I think I just tried not to think about it.
The thing is, not all relationships are deep. But then there is that one guy. The one I have referred to as "the man who tried to ruin my life". He made me as miserable as he made me happy. I waisted a million tears over him and when it was over it was like coming back from the dead. The last time I saw him, we spoke kind words and even apologized for what we had put each other through.
Over the years I have wondered where he was, now and then, but tried not to think about it too much. I would say horrible things like, I'm sure someones husband has killed him by now. The other day I was reading some newspapers online and saw his father's obituary. I read through to the survivors looking for his name, but he was not listed. Then, I saw it under the words, Proceeded in death by. I was shocked. He and his little brother had both died. I googled his name and found his obituary. He had died in 2006 just 3 weeks before my daughter. He was not married and had no children.
I feel so sad. I always thought we would run into each other some day and talk about our lives like in that Dan Folgelberg song, Same Old Lang Syne. And oh yes , he would hate that song. I have not let myself remember him for so long, and now I can't stop the memories.
I should have been praying for him all these years, instead of saying such terrible things. I wonder how he died. I wonder if he ever knew Jesus, and will I see him in heaven. I wonder if I should delete this post.