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Sunday, July 10, 2011

 Dear Jesus,
 The antidepressants aren't working. My first thought this morning was, it's Lauren's birthday. My next was, am I still alive?
don't get me wrong. I'm so thankful for her life. The memories I have of her are worth every minute of sadness and pain I have experienced since she's been gone. I just don't know how to keep going.
I took daisies to the cemetery, today, but she wasn't there. I wanted to cry, but these stupid pills won't let me. My heart hurts, but my eyes are dry.
I lost a sweet friend to cancer this week. It broke my heart to see her husband and sons grieving, but still, I could not cry. I thought how much I will miss our little talks and how she made me laugh. I really need a good cry.
Lord, thank you so much for these lives, no matter how short they were. They made my life better.
Please give me back my joy, and forgive me for my anger.
I love You and worship You.
Your daughter, always and forever
Sheila
P S Tell Lauren happy birthday and I love her

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A wife, mother, and spoiler of small dogs, I grew up in a small West Texas town, with my eyes full of sand, and my heart full of joy.


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